Finally a post and in the new year

I stil can't believe it's 2011. It was definitely interesting ringing in the new year with friends i went to jr high with. Crazy how time flies. It has been a really good break so far. I have spent a lot of time with my family and my grandma who just moved back. Along with working and seeing friends. It has been great being home, but i have started to miss school so much. I've realized how much i enjoy being independent and living on my own. I also am not working much this week due to it being slow. Between school and work, i'm not used to having a lot of free time. I am so ADD when i try and sit down and watch tv here. It's not that exciting. I'm also just so excited for my second semester classes too. I have a lot of fun plans for this week, but it definitely will be nice to get back to school.

I'm in such a different part of my life then i was last year. Plus so much happened in 2010 and my life changed so much. Now i'm just contemplating how i can make this year the best possible. I'm doing my best not to look back on certain bad things from last year. I'm human and there are things that i still think about a lot and i still have a hard time dealing with. It's not something i can let go of that easily. I don't feel that it's right that i should have been criticized by somebody for a time in my life that i was hurting and at the time i really didn't know how to handle it. There are things in life where you can't always just get up and go about your day as if it's completely normal. Things happen and you have to cope with it as you can. I hope this makes sense. All i know is that i am still growing up, and i can't just be told to move on and expected to. I will learn for myself and grow stronger as i can.

Anyways there has just been many things i've contemplated lately along with certain people in my life. It's definitely hard to let go of people that are good to you and mean a lot to you, but i know that to move on and grow, it might be best to let go. I think if i stop continually thinking about everything though, it will work out how it's supposed to. I turn 19 in a couple weeks and i want to make this the best year yet. I'm hoping many wonderful things will come out of it. I also just got my FAFSA done and i'm waiting to hear if i do get any grants. It said i am elgible so i really hope i do. It would make everything so much easier. Well that's all i really have to say. Have a great week everyone. :)

Growing up

Just a little bit ago I looked at my sisters blog and it talked about her new jobs and how she's moving to San Francisco. It's pretty amazing to me how fast time flew. I can still recall spending hours on end in our sideyard or the time she threw my barbie boombox in the bushes. It's hard to believe she's 22 and i'm now less then a month to being 19. We've always been insanely close yet of course we still have our sibling fights like anyone does. They just don't involve barbie boomboxes getting thrown into the bushes nowadays. I know we'll always come out of it even if were stubborn as hell. We both love eachother and can't imagine how it would be without eachother. My sister has been my rock throughout my life considering she's always there through everything. She has always been my best friend. She has also always been the person I have looked up to in many things. In six months my sister will be moving to take a job with dow jones. I hope I can be that brillaint and do that with my life by the time I am 22. I hope she knows just how proud of her I am. It's hard being away at college and I know I wont see her much before she moves. I plan to not waste time and to live it up as much with her while I can. Since I know that i will be seeing her a lot less when she moves. Though i'm excited to see where life ends up taking her. Baby basketball loves her very much. I think an extra blast from the past is needed to sum this up.

What i'm greatful to have in my life

Right now I feel so lucky and I feel I should elaborate on the things I love and feel lucky to have. Bad things have happened lately, but I really have so many reasons to be happy. I've always had the mentality that good things don't last and bad things always happen so I will never be truly happy. In the past two weeks, I have decided to throw that out the window. I've thought it my entire life and that maybe have even screwed up things i've had since I never thought it would last. If I feel that it's going to be a bad day or if things are going to go wrong, then they will. It's just because I saw it that way. I now believe in starting everyday off smiling. I try and just smile at who I see or go out of the way to help or be nice to somebody. I've realized that not only does it help me and make me feel better, but it may just make someone else too. It also helps to meet new people around here. Now I will go into what I love just so much in my life.

I love my family. They've always been there but especially this year have they all stepped up and shown an amazing amount of support. Because of what my parents have sacrificed right now, I'm currently able to stay in school. My parents are very giving to people and they are both just good human beings. I admire their strength and their hearts. I also love my siblings so much. Also Adam who has been like a brother to me. I'm so unbelievably proud of the two jobs my sister has gotten lately. I will miss her dearly, but I am so glad to watch here fly and create a life based on her talents. San Francisco is going to love her. I'm also very happy that in a few days, my grandma will be back living here.

I love being able to go to school. Many people take this for granted and I did too at the beginning of this semester. I cried harder then I have in a long time when I heard that there was a high possibility that this would be my last week here. I'm not ready to leave here just yet, and I do absolutely love this school. I'm very happy I will be back next semester. When the first bit of my tuition got paid last night, I cried because I was so happy. I walked over to one of my roommates in tears just telling her how incredible it was. One of my good friends was telling me how he completely pays for his school and everything up here. It's amazing to see someone so self sufficient and i've decided I will be doing that too. I'm going to go into loans and continue working to support everything else. I don't want any burdens on my parents. They have done more then enough to get me here.


I love my job and having one. I've been with my company since June 08 and I have no intention of leaving anytime soon. I always love the people I work with and the management I have. Plus I have opportunity by being able to transfer my job so easily. People ask me why I haven't gotten a new job but I have no reason to do so. Jobs are hard to come by and for an eighteen year old, I make good money. I like what I do and I love meeting great people through working there.


I love my best friend and all of my other wonderful friends. I love my best friend so very much. It never even strikes me that we have an age difference since is so mature. I feel like she makes me a better person with how strong and positive she is. We always have fun times and without fail we call each other everyday and always say we love each other. Carson, Bekah, Nick, Rob, Lauren. I had two other very close friends all throughout high school and I lost them this year. Honestly it didn't effect me much because I realized what other amazing people I had and I didn't need that around. Three of them have been my close friends for close to seven years. The other two for about four years. These people have picked up the phone for me at two am when I have been in tears and they have always been wonderful friends. We have had amazing times together and we continue. I love them so much and I would do anything for them. I have many other great friends in Logan or from Park City who have gone off to college. All of these friends have just made a significant impact on my life. This year I met another person who has changed my life for the better. I have never met someone who is more of a man and who can just stay strong through bad situations. He's also always there for me and all of his other friends no matter what is happening. There are many other reasons, but those are some that make me completely love this person.

This is very long. I should probably get to finishing up my last couple assignments so this semester will officially be done.

Awesomeeeee

All I can say right now is that everything is working out. I got the first bit of my tuition paid last night. Meaning i'll still be here another semester. I am quite happy about that. I feel like it will be a great semester. Other things have just gone well and i'm completely ready for a fantastic break. My week alone in Logan has started but I don't think it will be that bad. Between work, sleep, and watching shows it wont be much different. Just a lot more quiet. Well I thought a quick update would be good before I get busy working this weekend. Have a great start of the break everyone! <3 :)

Over the past week, things have been really great. I just figured out how to make things better, and everything got better. It made me love it again here. I was really buried in school and work but I enjoyed it. I also really love my job so that's a plus. I had my last final today and I did really well so I was really happy about it. Friday my tuition got paid off. Yet yesterday there were fees that weren't on my payment, that still held my account. I paid those and finally registered for classes. Then today I found out next semesters tuition is due on Friday. I can do a payment plan but I can't come up with 1400 dollars by then and my loans wont go through for a few weeks. My dad has done a lot and he told me it's not exactly possible to do it by then. I was told that I may just have to leave school for a semester. It was hard here for a while but I got through it. I'm strong now and know how to deal with the bad things and i'm finally starting to love it again here. I also don't want to leave school. I absolutely love what classes I have for next semester too. I know that everything happens for a reason, but I do hope that it works out to stay here another semester. I'm having a really hard time with this and I just hope it works out for the best. Right now I really don't know though. I don't really know how much this matters to anyone but that's the update. Hopefully i'll have a very happy post in a few days.

Ohh dead week

It is officially dead week, where apparently there are supposed to be no exams. Even though I had one today. Then I feel like all of my professors assigned projects and papers this week. Of course I have been working my tush off and not sleeping. I hardly sleep whenever i'm stressed. My mono has gotten a lot better, yet i'm still tired a lot. Due to having a weak immune system, it has taken a lot longer for it to get better. Lack of sleep on top of that makes it really hard but i'm managing. My sister taught me to schedule my naps in everyday and to just drag my butt out of bed for class no matter how tired I am. It definitely has worked. Between school and work, that's all I have going on. I did get an email for the registrar regarding how i'm not signed up for next semesters classes. If i'm not signed up by this week, i'm pretty much going to be considering withdrawn and that i'm not coming back next semester. Now that i've come to the point where I think it's best to stay for next semester, this is really stressful. I don't really know what's going to happen, but I know everyone is doing what they can to get it paid. We'll just have to see.

There is a possibility I am just going to make this blog available to followers on this, which would be my good friends that live far away, which was my original intention of this. I wasn't aware of just how many people looked at this and who exactly up until the past couple weeks. There are just some people I would rather not have knowing anything about my life, and I know they read this. All of my close friends do these so we can keep each other updated on our lives. Especially considering all of my close friends are across the state, country, or even in another country. I'll figure things out, but yeah if it goes away that will be why.

To sum it all up, everything is really good right now. Even through all of the stress I am really happy. I just keep figuring out ways that help me and of course I have many lovely people in my life that make everything great. Anyways I have work in a couple hours and a massive list of assignments to do. I will most likely update this coming weekend. I wanted to post a couple pictures that were kind of funny to me. I'm not exactly a messy person but it does tend to accumulate every once in a while. Then it will drive me nuts and i'll beautify it. It's always a cycle and i'm realizing I definitely have some of my mother in me when it comes to cleanliness. I deep cleaned my room yesterday and within fifteen hours of being in my room and studying, my desk accumulated quite a bit. It definitely is the looks of someone trying to keep themselves alert to keep studying.


My dorm after it was deep cleaned


15 hours later

Strength and Inspiration

It was definitely a long and stressful week. I had a big paper due on wednesday and I had my Sociology final on friday. Between those, classes, and work it was really stressful. I was holed up in the library and my room every night working. I know how much I have riding on these grades staying up. I also had to deal with some guys and their ridiculous drama. It's pretty sad when they have a war going on between eachother and they bring someone that's not involved as a pawn in their game to spite eachother. It's not something I want to go into on here, but i'm finding out that a lot of guys are really pricks. Anyways I worked my ass off to ace my exam, got in and took it and I felt like I knew all of it. I somehow bombed it. I don't even know how it's possible. That screwed up my most important grade and I don't exactly know what to do from here. If it's a class for your major, you have to get a high grade before you go onto the next set of classes. Plus it will screw up my GPA for my transfer. I'm at a loss for knowing where i'll be next year or what will happen, but I just know I need to keep trying and hopefully my professor will work with me.

This week I did get an offer to go to New York in January. I'll have all of my birthday and Christmas money so I can actually afford it. If there is room for me to stay where she is staying, then I will most likely be going. I pretty much just told my parents I was. I'll be 19 by then and it's somewhere I really want to go.

Anyways lately I just continue to be completely inspired by certain people. I hear people everyday that are just upset by teenage drama. Well I live around most of it. Here i'm watching someone I love so much pushing through while having leukemia. I absolutely admire people that keep going to make the best of their life when they have hard things such as this. I just found out about a friend who has lost his hearing, and he is a musician. It's amazing to see that they don't let any of this tear them down, they keep fighting. I know so many other stories of people around me who are so strong. A lot of people like to feel better as realizing that their are others that have it harder then them. I like to just look around and see the strength of others. It's one thing that inspires me when i'm having a hard time of a much lesser nature. I also do what I can to help those that are just trying to keep pushing through.

In two weeks i'll be done with my first semester of college. I know what I want to do in life but it's about managing and working my way there. In my first four months of college and being away from home, i've already realized and experienced a lot. I also have an amazing support system. My parents, siblings, and realizing who my closest friends are. One way or another I know i'll get through everything. Just have to keep on trying. I must get to my homework now. Everyone have an amazing week.