There have been many things that have happened the past week. Some of it i really don't know what to make of. I'm just glad that above all things and no matter what is happening, i have my family. On Monday a childhood friend passed away. I mentioned him recently in one of my blogs. It was a sad thing to see for my family but it put a lot in perspective for us. It's hard for us that we will be moving from our home in the next couple weeks, but it's not like we lost one of our loved ones. I know that we will all pull through. Were a very strong family. I layed in bed last night and it made me cry knowing this is the last time i'd be there. There are many amazing memories there. But no matter what as long as were all together that will still always happen.

It has been sad to know my sister is moving in May despite being very happy for her. Now that there is a high chance of the rest of my family moving out of state. I wont go much into that since that's in the process and i shouldn't go into their business. Though right now seeing that that very well may happen, i'm not exactly sure what to do from here. It's left me with a lot of decisions i may have to make. I will go into this further once it is appropriate and if there for sure will be any decisions i have to make. It's just a hard topic on my mind right now seeing that it could possibly happen. There is a lot going on right now but i know we will be fine.

All this past year has taught me is to be positive and to not make situations worse then they need to be. Life can be hard but there are always ways to get through it. I've realized lately that my family is the main thing i have to rely on right now. I don't want friends that only care about getting high or are just uncaring from anything but themselves. At this moment i can name three friends that would still be there in a heartbeat and are just so great to be around. Two of them have for many years. Anyways i should probably go to sleep for class tomorrow. Everyone have a wonderful week.

Certain things i don't understand

I'm in my second semester of college and i just barely turned 19. As of lately there has been a spike in engagements and marriages of people around me. Not just anyone though, they're all my age. In my personal view and in the way i was brought up, i just can't understand people getting married so young. It's just something i couldn't imagine doing at this age. I am independent and know how to take care of myself but in ways i still feel like a kid. Hell I am still somewhat a kid and have a lot more to learn and live before commiting my life to someone else. All power to people but that's just how i feel on the subject. I also know my parents would rather murder me then for me to get married before 25. I don't even think they want me to that early. Anyways that's my rant on that. It was needed.

I don't know if anyone is actually disappointed that i haven't written lately. I feel like i start writing and then i end up having to leave it and i never go back to finishing it and posting it. A simple overview of things: Second semester has been good so far and i'm really liking it. I mainly work, go to class, and i feel like figuring out my love life has become a full time job. After having an ex i was with for a very long time try and get me back, a new guy who apparently led me on and walked away, a guy i've been dating since school started who now feels the need to hide us from his roommates, and then realizing none of this takes away who i truly have feelings for. We are three weeks into the year, I think this is enough for a while. I need time for myself and that's damn well what i'm doing. I am on my men hiatus. Honestly is it that hard to find a guy that wants to treat me right, cares for me, wants more then sex, and maybe wants to send me flowers at certain times. I feel like it's not much to want but hey it will happen when it happens. For now I just need to step off for a bit and focus on other things. That rant was a lot longer then intended.

Anyways for the most part things have been pretty good. Aside from a couple bad things that have recently happened to my family I feel like were pulling through. Somehow everything will be okay. But we will still just have to see. Anyways that's my update and my rants of things i don't understand. I hope it was somewhat enjoyable.

Finally a post and in the new year

I stil can't believe it's 2011. It was definitely interesting ringing in the new year with friends i went to jr high with. Crazy how time flies. It has been a really good break so far. I have spent a lot of time with my family and my grandma who just moved back. Along with working and seeing friends. It has been great being home, but i have started to miss school so much. I've realized how much i enjoy being independent and living on my own. I also am not working much this week due to it being slow. Between school and work, i'm not used to having a lot of free time. I am so ADD when i try and sit down and watch tv here. It's not that exciting. I'm also just so excited for my second semester classes too. I have a lot of fun plans for this week, but it definitely will be nice to get back to school.

I'm in such a different part of my life then i was last year. Plus so much happened in 2010 and my life changed so much. Now i'm just contemplating how i can make this year the best possible. I'm doing my best not to look back on certain bad things from last year. I'm human and there are things that i still think about a lot and i still have a hard time dealing with. It's not something i can let go of that easily. I don't feel that it's right that i should have been criticized by somebody for a time in my life that i was hurting and at the time i really didn't know how to handle it. There are things in life where you can't always just get up and go about your day as if it's completely normal. Things happen and you have to cope with it as you can. I hope this makes sense. All i know is that i am still growing up, and i can't just be told to move on and expected to. I will learn for myself and grow stronger as i can.

Anyways there has just been many things i've contemplated lately along with certain people in my life. It's definitely hard to let go of people that are good to you and mean a lot to you, but i know that to move on and grow, it might be best to let go. I think if i stop continually thinking about everything though, it will work out how it's supposed to. I turn 19 in a couple weeks and i want to make this the best year yet. I'm hoping many wonderful things will come out of it. I also just got my FAFSA done and i'm waiting to hear if i do get any grants. It said i am elgible so i really hope i do. It would make everything so much easier. Well that's all i really have to say. Have a great week everyone. :)