Things i have decided of my lack of giving a shit

1. I shall not put up with stupid boys.
I find it funny when boys play the whole hot and cold game. One minute they are all over you and then the next they don't answer your texts. You know it kind of sucks when you have a guy all over you and then he's not there but i've come to the point i don't care. I don't need a guy and i'm not going to chase after him once he goes all cold. If they do that then it's so not worth it. Plus once you don't and then they come back expecting to get something once they're back, it's not going to happen. Then they just screwed stuff up with me. I started out this summer with not having really any guys. Then I move back to Logan and a couple guys come back into my life, i meet a couple others, and then the other was already in my life but he was wanting something. I had decided i only wanted one of these guys. Now some are in the cold part of the game. Which a couple just happened right before i decided i wanted just one. Then some are in a huff and are ridiculous. It's sad that with both of these cases guys can't even be friends. . Then it goes to the one i want and if i can't figure him out, then i will give up. Since i will not wait around for any guy who can't figure shit out nor will i put up with a stupid boy. Not saying that he is but if it turns to that, i'm out.

2. I shall not put up with any dramatics
You know i'm not a person that likes drama. Which i never have it in my life and i don't put up with it. Yeah the past year i did have quite the guy drama and stuff that happened to my family but otherwise it was non existent. But now because of how i feel of what i put on the above insert, i don't let it bother me so it's not a drama. Though when people are pissy over stupid things or they send ridiculous dramatic texts, i decide not to give a shit. It wont make me react and chase after you, it just pushes me away more and lessens the chances of us being friends again if you do stop said dramatics. Therefore it is not a good idea.

3. There shall always be communication or therefore i will not give a shit
Once again, if something is wrong then talk to me. Don't act pissy or go into the dramatics. I like to hear the person out and fix the problem, not go through the game of babying a person to then figure it out.

I'm tired of people doing such things so i thought this should be realized that if you do these things, it will turn into my lack of giving a shit. As to why that is the blog title. Well farewell everyone. Have a great weekend. :)

Loss

This definitely isn't going to be a happy blog like the last few. A lot is happening and my heart just really hurts right now. Within fourty eight hours my cousin passed away tragically and it was told to me that i don't have a lot of time left with my grandmother. My cousins passing is sickening and sad despite not being close to him. That being because a lot of my extended family lives in Alaska and i only see them for family reunions. On the other hand i'm very close with my grandma. I know i mentioned in a past blog just how close i am to her. I really don't know how to handle it. I'm now planning on driving down to Salt Lake a couple times a week so i can her. Even more if i can. Honestly i don't know if i'll be getting a second job because of it. I'm not completely sure yet. I'm just hurting a lot right now and need the people i love more then ever to be there for me. Yet i don't feel like i really have anyone except for a couple people. It's sad i don't even feel like i have my close friends there. Anyways that's all i really want to update for now.

Relationship complications

Well honestly, it's not really relationship complications when there is no relationship. You know how i said over a month ago that i didn't want a guy? Well i still don't really unless it's someone that truly means a lot to me but yeah it apparently only lasted until i got to Logan. As much as i have my days where i don't feel good enough, i do realize that that isn't exactly the case. I feel like this everytime a guy walks away, yet i avoid having a relationship like the plague. Every guy i have i just look at everything and don't want it, i like meeting different guys and seeing all the types there are out in the world. Then it just happens that i realize when i figure out that it's just about having that certain person that makes me want to go all in. I'm a really confusing person if you can't tell and as i've been told recently. For once there is a guy that i wouldnt mind this happening with. Though i've become the type of person where i will just let everything play out. If that were to be the case then great, but if not then it's not meant to be. I just don't want to be the girl where the guy just wants to hook up. I'm not that girl. I'm fine with being alone. I want a guy who will actually say he misses me or will start off a conversation with hey beautiful. One who wants to just lay there and watch a movie with me instead of pushing something else all the time. As i've discovered recently though, all of this only matter to me if it's someone i have feelings for. With out it is definitely sweet, but i still can't force myself to feel anything based on that. But damn for a guy i have feelings for, that would make me melt. Honestly what happened to sweet gestures or surprises? I'd like to know.

At nineteen years old, it isn't the greatest guy pool either. Guys are either on their missions (which wouldn't exactly be for me either) or they just want to hook up. I feel like guys would probably do better with girls if they would actually be a friend and want to hang out and do something aside from getting her pants. This is just stuff i've realized a lot lately. I only have feelings for one person right now and as i wait for that person to get back, i'm staying single. I'm sure as hell content with friends and work and i don't need a guy to define my summer. Honestly i'm pretty over meaningless things with guys. I'm fine with being alone sometimes and not needing a guy to make me happy. Anyways that was kind of a needed rant for me. It's bedtime now. Peace everyone.

Amazing :)

Honestly can life get any better right now? Hardly. Everything is just wonderful and so surreal. I'm definitely still looking for a second job which would just make things even better. I did feel like today was the day i would finally get a call on a job or something would happen. It was in fact the day and i have two interviews this week. :). I'll see what pans out. Moving up here for the summer was the best decision i could have made. I'm so happy and everything just turned out so well. I love where i live, i have amazing roommates who i'm so close with, and i have met many great people up here. I also got a promotion at my job. It definitely helped secure my hours. Then i had a person come back in my life recently who i missed a lot. Everything just turned out so well and i'm the happiest i have ever been.

There are also so many fun things planned for the summer. Bear lake, many concerts, and possible trips. I'm so excited for this summer. It's well on it's way to being the summer of my life. The only downside right now is i'm feeling distant from a few people who i was once very close to. It's sad when one is a member of my family and then a couple close friends. It's not always distance that tears people apart. I wish this would all change but there are just too many great things in my life right now and i refuse to let anything bother me.

I figured i'd update but i'll write more later when i'm in a writing mood. It's my day off tomorrow so i plan on sleeping a ridiculous amount. It's time to start that. Everyone have a great week!