It's been a while since i posted and most of which were utterly depressing so i figured i'd explain all that and update.
A lot of people who hang around me have sensed something has been wrong with me the past few months. Only a few who finally came to know about what was going on. These past few months have been some of the hardest of my life and i'm just glad i have come out of it. I'm not going to hide all of it from everyone because that's what lead to my downfall. It may be personal but it's something i need to be open about.
I have been severely depressed over this time. People have to realize that people who have depression can get like that for no reason. I've heard people say that people who are sometimes have no reason to be. It's something that is so hard to get out of and unless you reach out for help, it's nearly impossible to come out of. Then little bad things that happen are so much worse when someone is depressed. After I got sick early in the semester and had my car accident, i had started to get behind in classes. This just led to me getting really stressed and feeling like a failure. Then just small things happening with people in my life and my job and I immediately spiraled down. I got to the point where i would sleep until four in the afternoon to avoid getting up and going out and I didn't enjoy it when i went anywhere with people. I didn't see what good there was in anything anymore and I no longer thought i was capable of doing well in anything. I let it get really bad for a month and finally i realized i needed to get help. And ya know when people tell my parents that i am being a "rollercoaster" it didn't exactly help how i felt. So thanks for being assholes when you didn't know what was going on.
It's been about a week since i've started feeling better due to better medication and since some people finally understood why i was the way i was. I finally just feel happy and find enjoyment in things. I did somehow make it through my classes. They aren't amazing but I know it can't be changed. I'm so excited that i have the break to see my family and hang out with people and go to Colorado. Then i'll come back to a new semester and a fresh start. I still have all this sickness going on but i'm hoping it will all get figured out soon. I just know that everything is going to be okay.
