There have been many things that have happened the past week. Some of it i really don't know what to make of. I'm just glad that above all things and no matter what is happening, i have my family. On Monday a childhood friend passed away. I mentioned him recently in one of my blogs. It was a sad thing to see for my family but it put a lot in perspective for us. It's hard for us that we will be moving from our home in the next couple weeks, but it's not like we lost one of our loved ones. I know that we will all pull through. Were a very strong family. I layed in bed last night and it made me cry knowing this is the last time i'd be there. There are many amazing memories there. But no matter what as long as were all together that will still always happen.

It has been sad to know my sister is moving in May despite being very happy for her. Now that there is a high chance of the rest of my family moving out of state. I wont go much into that since that's in the process and i shouldn't go into their business. Though right now seeing that that very well may happen, i'm not exactly sure what to do from here. It's left me with a lot of decisions i may have to make. I will go into this further once it is appropriate and if there for sure will be any decisions i have to make. It's just a hard topic on my mind right now seeing that it could possibly happen. There is a lot going on right now but i know we will be fine.

All this past year has taught me is to be positive and to not make situations worse then they need to be. Life can be hard but there are always ways to get through it. I've realized lately that my family is the main thing i have to rely on right now. I don't want friends that only care about getting high or are just uncaring from anything but themselves. At this moment i can name three friends that would still be there in a heartbeat and are just so great to be around. Two of them have for many years. Anyways i should probably go to sleep for class tomorrow. Everyone have a wonderful week.

Certain things i don't understand

I'm in my second semester of college and i just barely turned 19. As of lately there has been a spike in engagements and marriages of people around me. Not just anyone though, they're all my age. In my personal view and in the way i was brought up, i just can't understand people getting married so young. It's just something i couldn't imagine doing at this age. I am independent and know how to take care of myself but in ways i still feel like a kid. Hell I am still somewhat a kid and have a lot more to learn and live before commiting my life to someone else. All power to people but that's just how i feel on the subject. I also know my parents would rather murder me then for me to get married before 25. I don't even think they want me to that early. Anyways that's my rant on that. It was needed.

I don't know if anyone is actually disappointed that i haven't written lately. I feel like i start writing and then i end up having to leave it and i never go back to finishing it and posting it. A simple overview of things: Second semester has been good so far and i'm really liking it. I mainly work, go to class, and i feel like figuring out my love life has become a full time job. After having an ex i was with for a very long time try and get me back, a new guy who apparently led me on and walked away, a guy i've been dating since school started who now feels the need to hide us from his roommates, and then realizing none of this takes away who i truly have feelings for. We are three weeks into the year, I think this is enough for a while. I need time for myself and that's damn well what i'm doing. I am on my men hiatus. Honestly is it that hard to find a guy that wants to treat me right, cares for me, wants more then sex, and maybe wants to send me flowers at certain times. I feel like it's not much to want but hey it will happen when it happens. For now I just need to step off for a bit and focus on other things. That rant was a lot longer then intended.

Anyways for the most part things have been pretty good. Aside from a couple bad things that have recently happened to my family I feel like were pulling through. Somehow everything will be okay. But we will still just have to see. Anyways that's my update and my rants of things i don't understand. I hope it was somewhat enjoyable.

Finally a post and in the new year

I stil can't believe it's 2011. It was definitely interesting ringing in the new year with friends i went to jr high with. Crazy how time flies. It has been a really good break so far. I have spent a lot of time with my family and my grandma who just moved back. Along with working and seeing friends. It has been great being home, but i have started to miss school so much. I've realized how much i enjoy being independent and living on my own. I also am not working much this week due to it being slow. Between school and work, i'm not used to having a lot of free time. I am so ADD when i try and sit down and watch tv here. It's not that exciting. I'm also just so excited for my second semester classes too. I have a lot of fun plans for this week, but it definitely will be nice to get back to school.

I'm in such a different part of my life then i was last year. Plus so much happened in 2010 and my life changed so much. Now i'm just contemplating how i can make this year the best possible. I'm doing my best not to look back on certain bad things from last year. I'm human and there are things that i still think about a lot and i still have a hard time dealing with. It's not something i can let go of that easily. I don't feel that it's right that i should have been criticized by somebody for a time in my life that i was hurting and at the time i really didn't know how to handle it. There are things in life where you can't always just get up and go about your day as if it's completely normal. Things happen and you have to cope with it as you can. I hope this makes sense. All i know is that i am still growing up, and i can't just be told to move on and expected to. I will learn for myself and grow stronger as i can.

Anyways there has just been many things i've contemplated lately along with certain people in my life. It's definitely hard to let go of people that are good to you and mean a lot to you, but i know that to move on and grow, it might be best to let go. I think if i stop continually thinking about everything though, it will work out how it's supposed to. I turn 19 in a couple weeks and i want to make this the best year yet. I'm hoping many wonderful things will come out of it. I also just got my FAFSA done and i'm waiting to hear if i do get any grants. It said i am elgible so i really hope i do. It would make everything so much easier. Well that's all i really have to say. Have a great week everyone. :)

Growing up

Just a little bit ago I looked at my sisters blog and it talked about her new jobs and how she's moving to San Francisco. It's pretty amazing to me how fast time flew. I can still recall spending hours on end in our sideyard or the time she threw my barbie boombox in the bushes. It's hard to believe she's 22 and i'm now less then a month to being 19. We've always been insanely close yet of course we still have our sibling fights like anyone does. They just don't involve barbie boomboxes getting thrown into the bushes nowadays. I know we'll always come out of it even if were stubborn as hell. We both love eachother and can't imagine how it would be without eachother. My sister has been my rock throughout my life considering she's always there through everything. She has always been my best friend. She has also always been the person I have looked up to in many things. In six months my sister will be moving to take a job with dow jones. I hope I can be that brillaint and do that with my life by the time I am 22. I hope she knows just how proud of her I am. It's hard being away at college and I know I wont see her much before she moves. I plan to not waste time and to live it up as much with her while I can. Since I know that i will be seeing her a lot less when she moves. Though i'm excited to see where life ends up taking her. Baby basketball loves her very much. I think an extra blast from the past is needed to sum this up.

What i'm greatful to have in my life

Right now I feel so lucky and I feel I should elaborate on the things I love and feel lucky to have. Bad things have happened lately, but I really have so many reasons to be happy. I've always had the mentality that good things don't last and bad things always happen so I will never be truly happy. In the past two weeks, I have decided to throw that out the window. I've thought it my entire life and that maybe have even screwed up things i've had since I never thought it would last. If I feel that it's going to be a bad day or if things are going to go wrong, then they will. It's just because I saw it that way. I now believe in starting everyday off smiling. I try and just smile at who I see or go out of the way to help or be nice to somebody. I've realized that not only does it help me and make me feel better, but it may just make someone else too. It also helps to meet new people around here. Now I will go into what I love just so much in my life.

I love my family. They've always been there but especially this year have they all stepped up and shown an amazing amount of support. Because of what my parents have sacrificed right now, I'm currently able to stay in school. My parents are very giving to people and they are both just good human beings. I admire their strength and their hearts. I also love my siblings so much. Also Adam who has been like a brother to me. I'm so unbelievably proud of the two jobs my sister has gotten lately. I will miss her dearly, but I am so glad to watch here fly and create a life based on her talents. San Francisco is going to love her. I'm also very happy that in a few days, my grandma will be back living here.

I love being able to go to school. Many people take this for granted and I did too at the beginning of this semester. I cried harder then I have in a long time when I heard that there was a high possibility that this would be my last week here. I'm not ready to leave here just yet, and I do absolutely love this school. I'm very happy I will be back next semester. When the first bit of my tuition got paid last night, I cried because I was so happy. I walked over to one of my roommates in tears just telling her how incredible it was. One of my good friends was telling me how he completely pays for his school and everything up here. It's amazing to see someone so self sufficient and i've decided I will be doing that too. I'm going to go into loans and continue working to support everything else. I don't want any burdens on my parents. They have done more then enough to get me here.


I love my job and having one. I've been with my company since June 08 and I have no intention of leaving anytime soon. I always love the people I work with and the management I have. Plus I have opportunity by being able to transfer my job so easily. People ask me why I haven't gotten a new job but I have no reason to do so. Jobs are hard to come by and for an eighteen year old, I make good money. I like what I do and I love meeting great people through working there.


I love my best friend and all of my other wonderful friends. I love my best friend so very much. It never even strikes me that we have an age difference since is so mature. I feel like she makes me a better person with how strong and positive she is. We always have fun times and without fail we call each other everyday and always say we love each other. Carson, Bekah, Nick, Rob, Lauren. I had two other very close friends all throughout high school and I lost them this year. Honestly it didn't effect me much because I realized what other amazing people I had and I didn't need that around. Three of them have been my close friends for close to seven years. The other two for about four years. These people have picked up the phone for me at two am when I have been in tears and they have always been wonderful friends. We have had amazing times together and we continue. I love them so much and I would do anything for them. I have many other great friends in Logan or from Park City who have gone off to college. All of these friends have just made a significant impact on my life. This year I met another person who has changed my life for the better. I have never met someone who is more of a man and who can just stay strong through bad situations. He's also always there for me and all of his other friends no matter what is happening. There are many other reasons, but those are some that make me completely love this person.

This is very long. I should probably get to finishing up my last couple assignments so this semester will officially be done.

Awesomeeeee

All I can say right now is that everything is working out. I got the first bit of my tuition paid last night. Meaning i'll still be here another semester. I am quite happy about that. I feel like it will be a great semester. Other things have just gone well and i'm completely ready for a fantastic break. My week alone in Logan has started but I don't think it will be that bad. Between work, sleep, and watching shows it wont be much different. Just a lot more quiet. Well I thought a quick update would be good before I get busy working this weekend. Have a great start of the break everyone! <3 :)

Over the past week, things have been really great. I just figured out how to make things better, and everything got better. It made me love it again here. I was really buried in school and work but I enjoyed it. I also really love my job so that's a plus. I had my last final today and I did really well so I was really happy about it. Friday my tuition got paid off. Yet yesterday there were fees that weren't on my payment, that still held my account. I paid those and finally registered for classes. Then today I found out next semesters tuition is due on Friday. I can do a payment plan but I can't come up with 1400 dollars by then and my loans wont go through for a few weeks. My dad has done a lot and he told me it's not exactly possible to do it by then. I was told that I may just have to leave school for a semester. It was hard here for a while but I got through it. I'm strong now and know how to deal with the bad things and i'm finally starting to love it again here. I also don't want to leave school. I absolutely love what classes I have for next semester too. I know that everything happens for a reason, but I do hope that it works out to stay here another semester. I'm having a really hard time with this and I just hope it works out for the best. Right now I really don't know though. I don't really know how much this matters to anyone but that's the update. Hopefully i'll have a very happy post in a few days.