I feel as if it doesn't matter how great your life is, there will be weeks where everything just becomes too much and bad things happen. Even this week in sociology we were discussing about families and the different upbringings we all had. It just brought me back to how sometimes how i miss those days. It was my sister and i against the world and we had no idea what bad was ever occuring. The days before i ever worried about bills, how much homework or work i had, or when i felt so insecure and hurt. I never had to ponder what the hell it was that was wrong with me of why i guy just up and walked away without a word. The fact that i now let that hurt my current relationship because i always wonder why i'm not good enough.
This year has been amazing and i'm just not entirely sure why i have been so upset all week. It's definitely a mixture of things though i just shouldn't have been as badly as i was. I'm just ready to go and see my sister and make up my mind to what i want to do. I don't know if i want to stay here the entire year. I feel as if i'm just burnt out and just need the person who has been there my entire life and who i've always been the closest to. I'm letting my past effect me too much and maybe getting out of here is the solution to that and the hurt that it brings. It's really awful that it took my car accident and all the care from people to help me see that i'm not so alone. I have wonderful friends and i know that but there was just still something in me that caused me to wonder about a lot of people and that kind of helped it. Everything is just complicated and i have been under so much stress that my emotions are wacked out. Hopefully next week brings something better. Anyways that's all i really have to update.
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